They Lied about Radiation.
They lied to me about radiation.
It's the most painful process during this whole cancer journey.
Not the radiation part. I don't even feel that.
It's the freaking position I have to hold to get the radiation. I can now write about the Spanish Inquisition from the prisoner's part.
It's the only part of the treatment that has brought me to tears at almost every session.
It's where I can't bother to chant my "I can do this" and am instead wanting to scream out, "Hurry up and get me the h*ll out of here."
I've lost my sense of humor.
Imagine lying on a narrow table with your right arm in space. Now raise that arm where it is even with the side of your body, and your right hand about a foot from your head. There is a little brace to hold you just above your wrist. Since they want to give radiation to the side under my arm, they tape my arm to the brace, moving the fatty batwing that I carry around up and out of the way.
Then the "stretch your neck and look up and over to the left"...that's another part of the pain. I should have a lovely neck on the right hand side, the left will be full of wrinkles.
AND...hold that position for at least twenty-five to thirty minutes.
The ouch doesn't even cover the pain I'm in. I try to step up to the plate and be brave, but it's hard. If they manage to linger too long, and why do they need so many x-rays, then I'm in tears by the end of my session.
Just think, only five freaking weeks left. FIVE FREAKING WEEKS.
Like I said. I lost my sense of humor.