Tuesday, September 29, 2009

"Crisp and Crunchy, or Raw" - What Radiation Really Is...For Me At Least

The title says it all.

Last week was 'deep tissue' radiation, which left my skin red, a bright burn red. Since I've always been pale, and red only when I stayed in the sun too long, this is something else entirely.

The skin from my neck to the top of my bosom, has the quality of dried alligator skin. Not that soft belly gator skin, but the top part, the scaly part. There are blisters, peeled skin, crunchy skin, all in all, not good.

Then there is the 'girl' as Whoopi Goldberg refers to it. My girl is in poor shape. Blisters formed under the clear bandages that were used to keep my blue marking lines in place. Some other blisters broke, one bandage, along with the skin it was covering, came off completely. OUCH! There's another blister that is as big as a quarter that looks ready to burst.

So, there is raw meat. Blisters. Healing blisters. Infection. Dark purple liquid stuff that is helping to fight infection, which stains everything it touches. Plus some Silver Sulfadiazine Cream that I smear on as often as I can.

The sports bra hurts to wear. Clothing...well, I do puff out the shirt a bit on that side. The seat belt...LOL...it didn't take me long to unclick my safety device, as the belt wrapped directly over the biggest stretch of raw meat. If the cops stop me, I don't mind showing them the 'evidence'...or maybe I need a note from my doctor, showing the girl might get me arrested.

But, guess what. I can do this. There are three days left. The end is in sight.

And I shouldn't complain. I feel shameful that I am, especially since watching 'So You Think You Can Dance' this evening, where a young twenty-five year old woman lost her left hand to soft tissue cancer. It was her hand or her life.

I'm so so lucky.

I've been blessed with the wonderful friendship that has been offered to me during this journey.

I'm so so lucky.



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